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June 14, 2003.....Brucester Hugs And The City of Angels
Hiya Brucester! WhassssUP? It's been a couple years since we saw each other backstage, in West Palm Beach, Florida. The whole trip of going to shows and then going backstage is always a mixed blessing for me: fun and exhilarating, but a monster roller coaster of emotions. I always feel like such a little fish in a BIIIIIIIG ass pond. It's very humbling, to say the least.
The only other time we had seen each other prior to West Palm was when you saw me in 2000, the front row at Universal Amphitheater in L.A., and you lit up like a Christmas tree, so I knew that you remembered me (my last backstage visit prior to THAT had been in 1998). I didn't ask for passes for the Universal Amp show, out of respect for the litigation you guys were dealing with, but it was nice to at least build a bridge with our eyes. I so need that reassurance, mainly because our face to face time is so limited. Every meet & greet feels like the first one in my mind, and since everything happens so fast, and there's so many other fans back there, demanding your attention, I always feel tense and under pressure to be on my best behavior.
When you saw me in W. Palm, and greeted me by name, I was soooo relieved and happy that I cried on your shoulder, and you were such a pillar of strength! I have literally never done that, and to this day, I'm still shocked that I did, but it felt great to be comforted. (((Bruce))) That was also my first Bruce hug. Not bad for a rookie, eh?? :OP Before that, I had always felt very shy and self-conscious around you. Now I feel safe. Thank you sooooo much.
I was also happy that you and Bryan asked about me living in L.A. I kept Cerisa up to date with how I was doing, and I wrote K.C., and Dave snail mail letters about some of my L.A. experiences, but I was still very surprised that you both asked about it.
Even though things on the REO front didn't work out as I'd hoped, I still got a grass roots education on a part of Los Angeles that is every bit as real as the swimmin' pools and movie stars of Beverly Hills, but that the tourists will never see, or even have the interest to see. And that's a shame, because it is this often-overlooked population of folks that make up the rich tapestry of humanity in L.A. They are the ones who make the magic happen behind the glitz and glamour. Even downtown Hollywood, the movie capital of the world, has its tales to tell. There's a lot of grit and grime on those stars in the sidewalk. Why do you think people get paid to clean them up? The high-profit tourist machine would hate for the REAL Hollyweird to be seen.
Their life stories are told through blood, sweat, tears, and sheer grit to keep pushin on, in spite of the odds against them. And now I have that same story to tell. :O) I thought I'd learned enough about the will to survive while living in Texas, but obviously, my higher power had bigger plans for me. I've never in my life felt more confident, capable, and strong as I did in L.A. The thing in Texas was so planned out, down to the last detail, without my knowledge, so maybe my decision to move to L.A. and "wing it" was a way to balance out the scales of justice. Maybe because the thing in Texas was sooooooo bad, it toughened me up, to where nothing could ever be that bad again. Mind you, if I ever move back to L.A., I will not wing it a second time. I know how to prepare for a quality life out there now. I'd sure love to tell you guys about it sometime, face to face. My best stories lose a lot of their entertainment value when put in writing.
That's all I can think of for now, but keep an eye on your page, because you never know when the next flash of inspiration will have me in its greasy little grip. I'm a slave to the creative process, and I'm digging it!
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© 2003, Rent A Geek/Kimberly Tolley
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