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June 14, 2003...Espousing the virtues of pussies

kim's pussy

Top o' the mornin' to ya, Mr. Amato! When I saw the picture of you on the official REO web site, I knew it would be perfect for the banner on your official Kimmers web page. Then I added the kitty cat because you and Trish are such avid collectors. What was the last count I read on daveamato.com, something like 14? I've only got one kitty, and she runs me ragged!

Her name is Oreo. She's a black & white American shorthair who adopted us as a stray kitten, after my mother fed her tuna fish. 12 years later, and we still can't shake her. Hehehehe. Her eyes are really green, but they look blue in this picture from the flash going off. She's got four white paw tips, and in the front, there's a single black stripe running down the center of each paw. Before we had her spayed, the white fur stretched down the length of her tummy, like the white filling on an Oreo cookie, so that's how she got her name. I wish I could say it was an REO tribute, but I can't. After her surgery, her tummy fur grew in black, but she still looks like an Oreo cookie, I think! :O)

Have you seen that cartoon where the kitten is on the bulldog's back, kneading her claws into his back as she settles down for a nap, and he's wincing in pain because her claws are so sharp? That's exactly what I go through every time Oreo (a.k.a. Freddy Kreuger) goes to work on me. It hurts like a son of a bitch, but I don't mind, because I feel so chosen. Just like that bulldog, I gladly put up with it, because I know eventually she will settle down, and we can spend some quality time together. At Chez Kimmers, we call kneading the claws "making bread", because they look like they're kneading raw bread dough. My aunt Dot coined that phrase when I was a kid. Three cats and 25 years later, it still stands!

The word "diva" doesn't even begin to describe this animal. When she wants to be left alone, then dammit, you'd better not even offer to touch her, or you'll get a dirty look, and maybe an aggravated "Meow". But then, when she wants attention, same thing, only in reverse. She will pester the crap out of you until you pet her. Your territory quickly becomes her territory, in particular if you are sitting at a desk, doing paperwork, or futzing on the computer. She is not above laying down across your arm, or plopping down on top of whatever books you dare to leave open on her desk. Then she likes to rub her face on everything, and sniff any food/beverage items that are on her desk. Completing this web site has been a non-stop exercise in futility, thanks to frequent interruptions by my high-maintenance critter. Many nights, when the cat decides I'm done working, I give in gracefully rather than fight. Resistance is futile, anyway. :OP

She divides her time between indoors and outdoors, and stays inside with me overnight (I keep a litter box for her). She's pretty good about letting me sleep through the night, only scratching to get out once, if I get up to use the bathroom. But if I sleep straight through, she doesn't wake me up. When I do wake up, she's sitting up on the desk, looking at me with great expectation, like, "What took you so long?" I put her wet food in her bowl, but she's still not ready to go outside. Gotta put in some cuddle time with Kimberly! I swear, it's just like having a human child.

As bed buddies go, she's pretty good. I love it when she snuggles up beside me and starts purring & kneading as I pet her. I have a full size bed, but she decides where she wants to sleep, and I have to make room accordingly. Usually, she sleeps right in the middle of the bed, but I've devised a way to solve that problem. I have her sleep on top of the covers, and when she scootches me too far over, I grab a handful of quilt and slide her over. I tried picking her up and moving her, but she gets up and crawls back into her former spot before I get a chance to scoot over. She leaves during the night, to sleep in another spot in the apartment, but other nights, I turn over in my sleep to find a nice, soft furry surprise curled up beside me that I didn't expect!

Out in the yard, she's a pretty fierce customer as well. We have five acres of property at Chez Kimmers, and my baby patrols every square inch with lethal precision. She doesn't bring home dead "treasures" very often, but when she does, her repertoire includes baby squirrels, baby rabbits, baby birds, and---if you can believe this!---frogs. Lizards and moles used to be her specialty, but I guess she eradicated them early on. I hate it when she doesn't finish them off, and they're still squirming as I take them to their final resting place out in the backyard. In between killings, she is the picture of ladylike repose as she sleeps on top of the vehicles in the carport.

So my question to you is, how in the hell do you keep up with your brood? Do you have eyes in the back of your head? Did you and Trish clone yourselves so there would be more people in the house to keep an eye on the critters? I think it's great that you tend to stray critters in need, in addition to the permanent tenants at Chez Dave. It takes a special type of human to nurture animals like that. (((Dave)))

I'm a huge fan of the TV show "Emergency Vets" on Animal Planet, and the stories about kitties always tug at my heart strings the most. The hardest scenes to watch are when any of the animals have to be euthanized, and if my little one is close by, I always make sure I give her extra hugs & kisses. It really reminds you how fragile life is, and what an impact animals have on the quality of it. Oh, and whenever kitty commercials come on, don't bug me 'til they're over, 'cause for those sixty seconds, I'm in love!!

To non-cat people, we must look like eccentric idiots, but I'd much rather pamper and spoil a soft, warm, purring, affectionate kitty than a loud, boisterous, barking, clumsy dog who makes a mess everywhere they go. I think it fulfills a deeply-held nurturing instinct. Don't get me wrong, I like dogs too, but when it's a question of what animal I prefer to live with, cats have the advantage. They act like they're so independent, and they'll love us on their terms only, but if we ignore them five minutes too long, they give us all kinds of hell, don't they? And isn't it cool when they groom us? Oreo gives awesome tongue baths! That means they have accepted us as their litter. They wuv us!! Awwwwww!

Well, I have to "take it on the run" now, but here's a few topics of future cyber letters, to get your wheels turning:

How Kimmers Helped Keep The Nuns In Los Angeles On Their Toes; Kimmers' Favorite Amato Moments; How Kimmers Found Out That Dave Was In The Band; Kimmers' Favorite Catholic Swear Words; REO's T & A Music Video, And The Squeamish, Prissy Fans Who Refute Its Existence; and Riding In Corvettes Down PCH With Boys.

More goodies are in store, so make sure you don't miss out!