Dear Dave

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(just like on the David Letterman show! Hehehe!)

July 7, 2003

Kimmer's Favorite Dave Moments

In 1998, Jordan (Taylor) went on a trip to the Midwest, to attend several REO shows in a row. When she got home a week later, and she was telling me what happened during her trip, she mentioned that you had asked where I was when she went backstage in KC, MO.That was so cool!! (((Dave))) Up until then, I didn't think you even remembered who I was.

I've been backstage 8 times now, yet we keep missing each other, and that bothers me. It's not that I'm deliberately blowing you off. I've got all night to yack with you, literally, but your precious time slips away so quickly, and I may or may not be backstage the following year. I have the inside connection with the REO organization to make the request, but there are no guarantees. I'm at the mercy of the backstage lottery like everybody else. So when my number comes up, and I beat the odds, my bridge building efforts at the venue become more of a race against the clock. I try to get to each of you in turn, to at least say hi and ketchup on the latest gossip in each of our lives. But real life has never been so accommodating to these noble intentions.

On top of the sense of time pressure, I'm already incredibly nervous/starstruck, so it's hard to relax and collect my thoughts even for the most superficial conversation. I'm intimidated by the sheer magnitude of The Road in general: the strange people, unfamiliar venues, a crowd of fans, etc. If it was just the six of us in private, behind the scenes, away from the hustle and bustle of the venue, I would be fine, and toward that end, my wheels are turning like a mother fucker. But that invitation has not yet been extended, so I must make the best of what is being offered.

Even though we don't have very much face time, you're never out of my mind (do I still owe Willie Nelson a royalty payment for using that lyric? It wasn't exactly the lyric, word for word! Hehehehe). Over the last 7 years, I've compiled a bird's eye view of the kind of guy you are. I'm forever on the lookout for what our common ground is, besides guitars and cats. I don't know how soon the smoke will blow our way, so to speak, but as soon as it does, I don't want to waste any time blundering, stammering, and staring at my shoes. Oh, before I forget, here's a conversation starter for the subject of geetars:

kim geetar '83

Me, age 14, with my brand new instrument.

Besides your whimsical sense of humor, you strike me as a very caring, compassionate guy. You take care of all those stray cats, in addition to your own; you work your ass off for REO, and the other artists you work with; and you are deeply devoted to your gig. In my book, this makes you A-okay peoples! (((Dave))) I can be the class clown, too, but I also have to balance that out with being introspective, quiet, and vulnerable emotionally. Ergo, I need people in my life who will be supportive of ALL of me, not just expect me to be "on" all the time. Right now, I lean on Kevin the most when I need to talk about my feelings, because I know he's comfortable with stuff like that, but I wonder if you too could be a potential source of hugs & kisses.

The first time I saw you in person was also my first REO concert, in November, 1993. I didn't know about the lineup changes in 1989/1990, so I believed I was watching/listening to Gary Richrath. I was standing in front of Bruce, less than 10 feet away, chanting, "Go Gary! Go Gary!" When "Gary" came over to Bruce's side of the stage to jam with him, I was surprised to look at up at the face of a total stranger!! I thought you looked like Scott Bakula, the actor from the TV show Quantum Leap.

I stopped dead in my tracks, and said, out loud, "Hey, that's not Gary! Who's that?" But I wasn't upset or tweaked out; the songs sounded the same, and none of the quality was lost. I had a great time at that show!

kev 1993 woof

Mr. C., circa 1993. Woof! :OP

Fast forward to the spring of '95, when two seemingly innocuous, back to back purchases changed the direction of my life completely: The Video Anthology (released by Sony Music in 1991), and The Second Decade of Rock & Roll.

The only REO music video I'd seen on TV before then was In My Dreams, on MTV. The band members were certainly familiar, but I was seeing them in a whole new light. It was like being 13 years old all over again, with the amp cranked to 11!

From the rock journalist's article about going on the road with you guys, included in the liner notes of Second Decade, the bubble gum babylon of my youth was immediately balanced out by a deeper level of understanding and appreciation for not just the songs, but the five of you as people, behind the music. These songs, that had been the soundtrack to my life in junior high school, now perfectly encapsulated the broad range of life experiences I had been having in the previous 27 years.

As I rolled with all these changes, I used to get so discouraged and frustrated because I felt like nobody else on the planet could possibly read my mind and understand how I felt. But all that pain & heartbreak was immediately vindicated when I dusted off my old vinyl records and listened to my favorite REO songs through adult ears.

From Second Decade, I learned about The Earth, A Small, His Dog, A Chicken, and a Cyclops Eye (I unofficially renamed that CD in 1999, because it bothered me that the eye on the cover wasn't mentioned in the real title).

the earth a small man band photo

The band photo from the liner notes of "The Earth A Small Man" CD (I added the typography in Photoshop).

To me, you guys look pissed off/seriously tweaked in this picture, especially K.C. Yes? No? Maybe? Definite maybe? 20 bucks, same as in town? :OP

From that point forward, in my mind and heart, you were---and are---THE lead guitar player for REO Speedwagon, as Bryan was/is THE drummer. Funny thing about that first show: when K.C. introduced you guys at the end of the show, I thought he said BRAD Hitt, like the actor Brad Pitt. That's how I found out that Alan Gratzer wasn't in the band anymore, either. But by then, it wasn't a problem. Ol' "Brad" knew how to bash those skins, and the quality of the songs wasn't compromised. No big whoop!

Yes, I would very much like the chance to meet Alan & Gary, or see them work with REO again (or both!). But I would not want those things if it would be to your detriment, or Hittman's detriment. You guys are my REO reality. You are my present, and my future. I only have a history with Alan and Gary in my memories of fan magazines, videos, and records.

Because of you and Bryan, the REO story has continued to be told since 1989, and I will always have the utmost respect for you for that.
Can you imagine how shit-ass lost K.C., Bruce, and Neal would have been had the band busted up? Neal's never been in any other band, and even though K.C. and Bruce were in bands before joining REO, this is their gig for a lifetime. This band is what they live for. It brings out the best in them. Many fans take your contributions for granted, and see you as an interloper, taking the place that rightfully belongs to Gary, but I'm not one of them. (((Dave))) (((Bryan)))

I know from Behind The Music that all five of you were thinking of quitting in '93, but you didn't. Of course, all the tenacity in the world would have been vestigal were it not for the "rock revival" that Neal talked about, where the longtime fans rallied around you and encouraged you to stick with it. With any tick of the clock, life can change its course!

Through my gig with REO Pals International, I learned a lot about you, and one of the things that stands out in my mind is your sense of humor. Your personality (what I've seen so far) seems to be very quiet and soft spoken, but just below the surface is this wild child, whimsical, slapstick Dave. I love it!!

The first radio interview I heard you do with REO was in 1996 for WLUP in Chicago ("The Loop"), with Jonathan Brandmeyer ("Johnny B"). You guys were HYSTERICAL!! It was a free association, joke telling, unplugged/acoustic REO and Beatles song playing, singing along with your own CD, reverb loving, disc jockey egging on the guests frenzy! (The reverb thing was originally one of your bits). When I need a pick me up, this is what I listen to. The description I just offered doesn't even begin to scratch the surface; you'd have to listen to the tape in person to really appreciate it! If you ever did, I'd give anything to be a fly on the wall, just to see your reaction! I have an audio tape of this show, and whenever I need to lighten the mood, this is what I listen to.

Then, in either 1997 or 1998, you did an interview with REO Pals International, for our club newsletter. You talked to Jordan on the phone, and she taped your conversation. I don't have a copy of that tape now, but I've heard it, and you were a real pistol! My favorite part was when you talked about having to beg off of a golf game with Bruce because you had had an accident a few days before in a softball game (you had collided with the center fielder). You told Bruce you couldn't play golf because you, quote, "had no back." Then you asked, "Did anybody find my back?" I was ROTFLMAO!!

At another point in the same recorded interview, you told Jordan that filling out the REO Pals questionnaire by hand took you "days...weeks...months!" With each word, your voice got more agitated and dramatic. Hehehehehehe. There's a monster difference between Dave on paper and Dave in person, just like Kimmers in a letter vs. Kimmers in person. I see infinite possibilities for fun if you I ever joined forces.

When I lived in L.A., I heard you guys on Rockline twice, and I had the same reaction to both shows as "The Loop" interview (although I wasn't able to tape Rockline). I even filled out an entry form online, to win tickets to the taping of the first show, but I didn't make the cut. I was really bummed. That would have made for a fantastic family reunion!! *happy sigh* Maybe my higher power has bigger plans in store for us, and I won't even miss that lost Rockline opportunity.

I didn't have a curfew as a condition for staying at my place of residence, so I was not restricted by the nighttime taping schedule, but the idea of a looooonnnnnng ass bus ride to Sherman Oaks and back (we're talking a minimum of an hour each way) did dampen my enthusiasm. I learned very soon after moving to L.A. that the best place for a single white girl to be after dark was tucked safely in her own bed (a lifestyle philosophy I intend to resume when I move back to L.A.). I'm very street smart, so I don't go looking for trouble, but in L.A., trouble has a way of finding you even when you're minding your own business. So I guess, all things considered, that Rockline gig worked out for the best. But I was still green with envy of the two ladies who DID win the tix.

When the second Rockline was broadcast, I was listening to it with my combination tape player/radio tuned to Arrow 93 FM and headphones, curled up in bed in my room with the lights off, positioned so that I was facing the open door (the light coming in from the hallway was bright enough for me to see by).

I was the "keymaster" for my housemates that night, which was a very sacred duty. This way, I could fulfill my responsibilities, and also have enough privacy to let go and enjoy the show to the extent that I knew I would. I didn't really know any of my housemates very well, so I didn't feel comfortable letting them see my wild child side.

One of the ladies who lived on my floor walked past my room and saw me lost in the throes of the rock & roll proceedings (not in the Biblical sense; I was, after all, pulling keymaster duty!). She waved at me with a knowing smile, and I waved back, but we didn't have a conversation.

The next morning over breakfast, she asked me what I'd been listening to, and I said, "My favorite rock band was doing a radio interview." She then said, "As long as I've lived with you, I've never seen you look and sound as happy as you were while you listened to them." That's how REO has always impacted me over the last 22 years. No matter how freaky my life circumstances get, no matter how many challenges I'm faced with, you guys keep me smiling! I showed my neighbor a picture of Kevin, and she thought he was pretty cute! (Kim winks at Mr. C.)

I wanted to say, Some friends of mine, but our relationship is really difficult to explain to outsiders, and plus, they probably wouldn't believe me. We already had one gal in our midst who dropped celebrity names left and right, saying she was buds with them. It was probably hypocritical of me to feel skeptical, but I couldn't help it.

I encapsulate our relationship thus far like the Harley Davidson slogan: If I have to explain it, you wouldn't understand. The "you" being anyone other than Cerisa and the six of us. We all know for a fact that we know each other. Beyond that, I can't point to any solid, tangible "proof", like, I work for you, I travel on the road with you, etc. (videotape of us shmoozing together would be da BOMB!!). So I hardly ever mention it to "civilians", especially other fans. Jealousy and resentment spread so fast in the fan world that I know better than to make a fuss about the bridge we've built.

But such humility has its own price tag. In denying the good shit, all I gave myself permission to think about was the bad shit, and once you let that black storm cloud obscure your vision, it takes over really fast. I also took too much responsibility for fixing messes that I didn't have a hand in creating. But I've had a light bulb moment recently, and there ain't no goin' back. By publicly claiming my band member bridges, I will very likely burn my bridges in the fan world, and that's okay. I'd much rather fly solo and have confidence in my instincts than be the center of a large social hub and be looking over my shoulder all the time. Besides, I give just for you, Bryan, Bruce, Neal, and Kevin. Nothing else matters.

Anyhoo...onto my next Dave moment in L.A. My parents came to visit me from Florida, and we were driving down the 405 freeway one afternoon, in the process of looking for a shopping mall. I didn't do very much shopping in L.A. other than Ralphs, and I didn't stray too far from home as a general rule, so what did I know from malls? My dad chose an exit at random, which ended up being downtown Northridge. My first thought was, "I'm in Dave's town! Yay!" After driving past Cal State, we found the Northridge Mall.

I wrote you a letter about that experience, and I was tickled, because at long last, I felt like I had something to talk to you about that would interest you. For some reason, I think bringing up my geetar stuff to you would sound lame, because I know exactly three chords, and I haven't touched my guitar in at least five years. In my mind, you are a Very Important Guitar God, and I feel like Wayne backstage at the Alice Cooper concert: I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy! In your REO Pals interview, you talked about meeting Ringo Starr for the first time, so you know exactly what it feels like to be a fan, quaking in the presence of your musical heroes.

I made one other Northridge trip toward the end of my stay in L.A.,a couple months after the mall run. This time, I accompanied a few of my roommates to one of the super budget discount movie theaters. The leader of the pack grew up in Northridge, and she wanted to revisit her old stomping grounds. I knew they were going to the movies, but I didn't know to where, and I wanted to be invited, but I couldn't assume I would be, even though we hung out together a lot at home. But then I was invited to go with, and only when we were in the car, schlepping down the 405, did I find out what our destination was.

Without me planning to, Fate stepped in and placed me in each REO band member's town at least once, sometimes more than once, for business related reasons, like a job interview, or housing arrangements. Wherever I needed to go to take care of business, that's where I went, so I was always pleasently surprised when I discovered which city I would be visiting.

I left L.A. after a disastrous, two day stint living in a church shelter in Neal's neck of the woods. By that point, I was at the end of the line in terms of available housing, and there was nowhere else to go but back to Florida. I wasn't ready to to leave L.A., but neither was I willing to sell my soul to the devil to stay. My decision was made by the knowledge that my brother's cancer was advancing. He was worth swallowing my pride and coming back home for.

Now that Tim is in a better place (a.k.a., heaven), I'm ready to return, and live the kind of life I know I'm capable of, as opposed to my original circumstances. I've got a lot to prove to myself, and all the self-serving assholes who tried to impede my efforts to improve my quality of life.

tim 2001.jpg

My big brother, earlier in the year that he passed away. His hair was falling out because of radiation, but as he'd always done his whole life, he chose to keep a postive attitude, and find the silver lining in the darkest of clouds. (((Tim)))

My most recent Dave moment was in January, 2001, backstage in West Palm Beach, Florida . I did say hi to you, but you seemed very distracted, like you weren't feeling well. The only thing you asked me was, did I need you to sign anything, and when I said no, you just turned and walked away (because one of your crew people said it was time to go). I didn't think you remembered who I was, or if you did, just didn't feel like talking to me, so I went home feeling very discouraged. That was my first meet & greet in three years, and I was nervous about being forgotten.

Later on, I found out from Jordan that your father had passed away just before this gig. Had I known this going into that gig, I wish I had known, I would have offered my condolences in person. A year or so after the West Palm gig, I was writing you a snail mail letter, and I asked Cerisa if I should mention your dad. She advised that enough time had gone by that it would be okay, so I did mention him, along with the fact that my brother Tim had just passed away from cancer, and I could easily put myself in your shoes. I understand now why you were so quiet and sad looking that night. (((Dave))). I've seen the picture of you with your dad on daveamato.com, and I knew from that how close the two of you were. Even though we know intellectually that our loved ones are in a happier place, it's still hard to fill in the empty spots in our daily lives that they once occupied.

In the last couple months, my uncle and two close family friends have all passed from the same type of illness, so I think I've seen more than my share of death. It's given me a hunger for life that I've never known before. My biggest fear right now is that...(God forbid, knock wood)...something will happen to one or all of you guys, and we'll never have the opportunity to get to know each other better. (((guys))) I have this sense of time passing so quickly, and when I get depressed, or want to give up, I think about all my loved ones who are buried six feet under, and how young & vital they still were in spite of being so sick. Now, more than ever, when I listen to Live Every Moment (from the Wheels Are Turnin CD), I really GET IT.

Well, that's all my pivotal Dave moments to date! Wow, I sure came up with a lot of stuff, didn't I? It just goes to show you: even though you don't see or hear from me very often, I've still got your back. (((Dave)))

See ya later, alligator! After a while, crocodile!!